Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
