take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
