They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
