he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
