I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
