Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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