Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
