Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
