We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
