K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
