I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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