I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
