I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
When are your genitals available?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
