apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
how does that bad decision feel?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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