I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
