We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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