I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
