I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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