You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
