fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
