Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
