hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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