Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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