drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
