I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
