Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
