I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
