dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Your dad touched me again.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
