I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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