My cat gives me a boner
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
