my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
