only if we run a train.
done.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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