Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
