If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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