doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
This baby is an asshole
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
