Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
