how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
