We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
