This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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