At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
My underwear smells like fireworks.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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