The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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