He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
