apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
