do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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