I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
