Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
