My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
