Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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