i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
