I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
