Already got asked if we're dating
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Randomize
